Charlie and the Bear
by Hilma (Volcano) Volk

Charlie was a big man, tall and round
And a massive horse carried him around.
His smile only displayed one tooth,
And whatever he spoke was one percent truth.

Yeah Charlie was one heck of a liar.
He'd tell about the time when the ol' campfire
Froze in right place; it was two hundred below.
Then a blizzard dumped a mile deep snow.

But the story that I'm going to tell to you
You'd think was a lie, but I swear it's that true.
One day Charlie rode through the brush,
When suddenly came an enormous hush.

So deafening the silence that came about -
It sucked the ears of critters inside out.
The rattle of a snake cut that silence in two.
Charlie's horse jumped, straight up it flew

Just like a rocket, such a strange sight
That it stopped the birds right mid-flight.
At six hundred feet Charlie lost his grip.
Headed right for the snake on his return trip.

When the snake saw what would land on him
He fled so fast that he left his skin.
The naked snake died of embarrassment
Before Charlie came down and made a dent

As wide as a football field or more.
And the seismic shock measured six point four.
When Charlie was flying through the air
What should be watching but a grizzly bear.

Drool dribbled down that hungry bear's cheeks.
For here was a feast that would last for weeks.
But Charlie knew just what to do.
He took a stick and broke it in two.

He had two halves. Two halves make a hole.
And he figured that into that hole he'd roll.
But Charlie was big and the hole was small -
But that didn't bother that man at all.

He huffed and he puffed, he blew so hard
That the bear rolled back and it's fur was charred.
Charlie exhaled until he was pencil thin.
Then he stepped to the hole and dove right in.

He'd needn't bothered, he'd already won.
The fighting days of that griz were done.
You see Charlie was mostly made of hot air.
So much hot air, he'd barbecued that bear.

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