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Thing that goes BUMP in the night.

A man was walking home alone late one night when
he hears a BUMP... BUMP... BUMP... behind him.

Walking faster he looks back, and makes out the
image of an upright coffin banging its way down
the middle of the street towards him ...

BUMP...BUMP... BUMP...

Terrified, the man begins to run towards his
home, the coffin bouncing quickly behind him
... faster... faster... BUMP... BUMP... BUMP.

He runs up to his door, fumbles with his keys,
opens the door, rushes in, slams and locks the
door behind him.

However, the coffin crashes through his door,
with the lid of the coffin clapping ...
clappity-BUMP... clappity-BUMP...clappity-BUMP
... on the heals of the terrified man.

Rushing upstairs to the bathroom, the man locks
himself in.

His heart is pounding; his head is reeling;
his breath is coming in sobbing gasps.

With a loud CRASH the coffin breaks down the
door.

Bumping and clapping towards him.

The man screams and reaches for something,
anything ...
but all he can find is a box of cough drops!

Desperate, he throws the cough drops at the
coffin ...

and of course


...........the coffin stops!


___________________________________

An attractive woman from New York was driving
through a remote part of Texas when her car broke
down. An Indian on horseback came along and offered
her a ride to a nearby town. She climbed up behind him
on the horse and they rode off. The ride was
uneventful except that every few minutes the Indian
would let out a whoop so loud that it would echo from
the surrounding hills. When they arrived in town, he
let her off at the local service station, yelled one
final, "Yee Ha!" and rode off.

"What did you do to get that Indian so excited?" asked the
service station attendant. "Nothing," shrugged the woman,
"I merely sat behind him on the horse, put my arms around his
waist, and held onto the saddle horn so I wouldn't
fall off."

"Lady," the attendant said, "Indians ride bareback ..."


___________________________________
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Manure Happens
by Hilma (Volcano) Volk

Website: http://www.manurehappens.com







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