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Screenplay #1


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A Chap walks up to another chap in a pointed
hat and says:

Chap -
You're Merlin aren't you?

Merlin -
Why yes ..it's nice to be recognized!

Chap -
Bit of a Wizard ..I hear?

Merlin -
Well Yes .. I've been told I'm skilled.

Chap -
Do tricks and things ..don't ya..
Magical stuff?

Merlin -
Magical ... yes that's correct.

Chap -
Turn Kings into Frogs ..
and that sort of thing ..Is that right?

Merlin -
Well Yes ..
I suppose I could Turn a King into a Frog!

Chap -
Ever Mucked up ..Ya know, made a mistake?

Merlin -
Well Yes ...hasn't everyone?

Chap -
Can you reverse a curse?

Merlin -
Yes I can ...
with knowledge of who applied the Curse
and the actual words of enchantment,
I could do it ....Why ?

Chap - I'm Cursed

Merlin -
Really ...
and how long have you been bewitched?

Chap - Years.....

Merlin -
Do you know the words spoken over you
to lay this curse?

Chap -
Yeah .. can't forget them!

Merlin -
What were they?

Chap -
something like ...

Do you take this women to be

............ your lawfully wedded wife?


A New Englander dies and is sent to hell.

He had been a horrible man throughout life and
even the devil wanted to punish him.

So the Devil puts him to work breaking up rocks
with a sledgehammer.

To make it worse, the Devil cranks up the
temperature and the humidity.

After a couple of days, the devil checks in on
his victim to see if he is suffering adequately.

The devil is aghast as he looks at the New
Englander happily swinging his hammer and
whistling a happy tune.

The devil walks up to him and says,

"I don't understand this.
I've turned the heat way up, it's humid,
you're crushing rocks;
why are you so happy?"

The New Englander, smiling big, looks at the
devil and replies,

"This is great!
It reminds me of August in New England.
Hot, humid, a good place to work.
It reminds me of home.
This is fantastic!"

The devil, extremely perplexed, walks away to
ponder the New Englander's remarks.

Then he decides to drop the temperature, send
down driving rain and torrential wind.

Soon, hell is a wet, muddy mess.

Walking in mud up to his knees with rain blowing
into his eyes, the New Englander is happily
slogging through the mud pushing a wheelbarrow
full of crushed rocks.

Again, the devil asks how he can be happy in
such conditions.

The New Englander replies,
"This is great!
Just like April in New England.
It reminds me of working out in the fields with
spring planting!"

The devil is now completely baffled.
Angry and desperate to make hell really hell,
he tries one last ditch effort.
He makes the temperature plummet.

Suddenly, hell is blanketed in snow and ice.
Confident this will surely make the New
Englander unhappy, the devil checks in on the
New Englander.

He is aghast at what he sees.
The New Englander is dancing, singing and
twirling his sledgehammer as he cavorts in glee.

"How can you be so happy?
Don't you know it's 40 below zero!?"
screams the devil.

Jumping up and down, the New Englander throws a
snowball at the devil and yells,

"Hell's frozen over!!

This means the Patriots

.......... won the SuperBowl."

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Manure Happens
by Hilma (Volcano) Volk

Website: http://www.manurehappens.com

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