Note: This was written for a
contest to win a season ski pass at
Schweitzer Mt. (which I naturally won).
The poem had to be about the show which
was then called "KREM 2 News Early
Morning", out of Spokane,
Washington. This was writtern in December
of 2000.
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THE
PARROT
by Hilma (Volcano) Volk
Once
upon a morning dreary as I woke up tired and
weary
To the dreaded alarm clock ringing, I promptly
hit the snooze.
Then as I resumed to my napping, suddenly there
came a clapping,
As of massive bird wings flapping, flapping wings
of Curlicues
Who swooped down upon the remote - - my big macaw
named Curlicues.
Then he turned on KREM 2 News.
Eyeballs groggy inside my head, still not
stirring from my bed,
"What's the weather like?" I said.
"Which clothes am I to choose?
"Is there fog or is it snowing? How is the
traffic flowing?
"What's the thermometer showing? Tell me
wise one, Curlicues - -
"You seem to know and see all things; tell
me wise one, Curlicues."
Quoth the parrot, "KREM 2 News!"
"And what has happened overnight? What were
the wrongs, what went right?
"How's the Presidential fight, latest City
Council spews?
"Were there more robbers on the prowl? What
was fair, what was fowl?
"Now come on bird, unlock your jowl, can't
you give me any clues.
"I have to act informed at work, can't you
give me any clues."
Quoth the parrot, "KREM 2 News!"
"Do I hear voices in my trance? Gee that
sounds like Robyn Nance.
"She can't be here, no not a chance."
The automated coffee brews.
"Was that Issa Arnita's laugh? Tell me bird,
on my behalf,
"I think I hear the whole news staff."
My mind is easy to confuse.
"What are they doing in my house? My mind is
easy to confuse."
Quoth the parrot, "KREM 2 News!"
So out of bed I go stumbling, all the while,
mumbling, grumbling,
Then with the toothbrush fumbling. That face in
the mirror is whose?
"Any news on Patrick Ewing? Scams brewing?
Who is suing?
"What is the stock market doing? Give me
something I can use.
"Are gas prices on the rise? Give me info I
can use."
"Just shut up and watch the News"
Awakened to reality - - There they were on my TV.
Telling about society and of the latest issues.
How can they be so cheery, on this morning cold
and dreary?
Perhaps they would have a theory to help with
these winter blues.
Perhaps a play or a movie to help with these
winter blues.
It's all there on KREM 2 News !!
Curlicues chats on the phone, happy to be left
alone
Ignoring me, I don't bemoan; the bird he has paid
his dues.
KREM 2 News Early Morning, oh my life they are
adorning,
But to the bird I give a warning, "Please
stop crapping in my shoes.
"Katie Baker doesn't peck my head; she
doesn't crap in my shoes.
"I'm growing fond of KREM 2 News.
"You could be replaced by KREM 2 News."
Quoth the parrot, "You amuse."
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